My Lastest Obsession Or How I Bought And Attempted To Assemble The Shelf From Hell

You guys are in for a real treat today. The sun is shining, most of my work is done, and I am just plain happy. For once, even if it's just for a few split seconds here on a Wednesday afternoon, I am stress free.

With that in mind, I am going to talk about not one, not three, but two exciting things about my life. Yippee!

Let's start with my latest obsession: zip.ca.

What is zip.ca? I'm so glad you asked. (P.S. I don't care whether or not you actually asked, because I'm going to tell you anyway.)

Zip.ca is this amazing online DVD rental service. Basically you sign up for a plan (I personally chose the 4-DVD at a time, 11 DVD a month $25 plan), make a list of all the movies you want to see, and then they send you movies! You watch them, put them in the prepaid envelope, and send them back! How cool is that?

I signed up on Sunday night, and made my 'zip-list' (a list about 500 movies strong of films I want to see but haven't yet.) On Monday (mid-day) they sent me my my first 4 (completely random choices, so I never know what I'm going to get!), and I had them in my hands by Tuesday. That's fast service! I'm 110% impressed. So if any of you (Canadians) are interested, ask me for more details and let me refer you. That way I get points towards free stuff. Woohoo!

Oh and what movies did I get, you ask? (Once again I don't care if you asked.) I got Boogie Nights, Coach Carter, and Back To The Future (Parts II & III.)

Now that I'm done talking about my worthwhile investment, let's talk about my less-worthwhile money waster: my shelf from hell.

So I'm searching the Sears website on Easter weekend and I find a DVD tower shelf that I really like. I read specs, do some more research, price compare with other stores, and finally decide to order it (in the maple option in case you were wondering.) I ordered it on a Saturday, and I got an e-mail by that Wednesday telling me it was at the Sears about a kilometer from my residence, and was ready for pick up.

So I take a friend with me, and we wander around the mall, and I buy some movies (go figure) and we finally decide to go to Sears and pick up my tower. So I go to the catalogue pick up area and fill out some stuff and then the lady there sends me to receiving. So we wander around for a bit until we find receiving (which is apparently outside.) So I hand them my forms, fill out more stuff, and the guy goes to get my shelf. He comes out a few minutes later, and he has this thing on a dolly, and he's looking around as though to say 'Ok...so where is your car.'

I sheepishly said that we were going to call a taxi, and ask him to just lean it against the wall. He does so (giving me awkward looks the whole time) and goes back in.

This is when I discover that my shelf weighs 100 pounds.

Ok...nowhere in the description does it say that this shelf weighs 100 pounds. I mean...it doesn't even look like it could weigh 100 pounds.

So we call a cab, who barely finds us because we're standing at this really remote entrance to the mall. Now, I've always had really good service (back and forth from the airport) with this particular cab company, especially when it comes to carrying luggage and loading groceries into the trunk and stuff. This guy wasn't so helpful. He just sat there and watched as me and my petite friend tried to get this 100 pound monstrocity into the cab. Eventually I get it into the backseat of the (very sketchy and disgusting) cab, and we take off. So I get it back to rez, and once again the guy is little to no help in removing it from the cab. I mean, I realize these guys are on time limits, but really! So my friend gets a cart (which I nearly break when I put the shelf on it) and I get it up to my room (which I must remind you is 8 1/2 feet by 11 feet.) Not exactly prime space for assembling a monster shelf.

So I take out the instructions which make NO sense. Not even joking - even IKEA instructions are easier, and that's not saying a lot considering some things I've gotten from IKEA come instructionless.

The first time I assemble this thing (which, if you checked out the pictures is 4 sided, with a swivel) I put it together backwards. The little holes that the shelves hook into were sticking out. At this point I'm still in a good mood, so I patiently take it apart and put it all back together again.

Second time around, what could go wrong? Yep...upside down.

So I move all my stuff around and flip this thing and attach the bottom of the shelf along with the swivel and everything (oh, and meanwhile I've discovered that they put in a bogus piece of wood along with everything that I won't be needing...but by the time I discover this I've already accidentally nailed the leveling feet to this instead of the correct base...so I have to dig them out and nail them onto the right piece of wood. Also note that I'm doing all this with no tools) and the instructions call for the thing to be turned back over at this point so the top can be attached (last step! Woo!)

Well during construction I noticed that one board wasn't lining up quite correctly, but I didn't think much about it. Well, as I'm turning this over I hear a very large and unhappy 'crack.' Yep, my shelf snapped in half. My freakin' $230 shelf snapped right in half. I figure the piece was warped to being with, and all the strain of putting it together like 10 times weakened it.

So in a panic, I call the generic 1-800 Sears number, only to be told I called the wrong number and should of called the parts number. So I get that number and call them, sit through an abnormally long switchboard, and finally get through to a real person. Here's how the conversation went:

"Hi. I bought a shelf from Sears, and a piece is broken and I need to see about ording a replacement part."
"Our systems are currently down for maintenance, so I will be unable to order you a replacement piece until 7:00 EST."
"Ok...fair enough. Can you make sure that this piece for my shelf is available so I don't waste my time calling back again in the morning?"
"Our systems are currently down for maintenance, so I will be unable to order you a replacement piece until 7:00 EST."
"Whatever."
"Thank you for calling Sears. Have an excellent evening."

I hope I wasn't such a robotic snob when I worked at a call center, because this particular call-center chick was driving me nuts.

So at this point I go and see my friend, and she gave me comfort chocolate (like in Harry Potter!) and I went to bed.

I wake up at 7:00 the next day and called Sears again. And I swear I got the exact same person:

"Hi. I bought a shelf from Sears, and a piece is broken and I need to see about ording a replacement part."
"We only have replacement parts for our appliances."

I almost exploded. Why the hell could they not tell me that yesterday?

Anyway, I'm feeling totally out of options when I check out the instructions and see a 1-800 number for the manufacturer. So, as a last resort, I give them a call:

"Hi. I bought a shelf from Sears, and a piece is broken and I need to see about ording a replacement part."
"What is the series number?"
"(Kyla gives her the series number.)"
"What piece do you need replaced."
"The 'right side' piece. I'm not sure if something was wrong with it in the first place, but it snapped in half while I was assembling it."
"Ok, well we'll send you the replacement piece for free. It should go out on UPS in a day."

I have never had a more pleasant dealing with a company than I did with the manufacturer.

Anyway, that is my story about my shelf from hell. I haven't received the replacement yet, but if the dates she told me are accurate, it should show up tomorrow or Friday.

Now it's just a matter of figuring out how I'm moving this monster when it comes time to switch rooms for the summer. Stay tuned for my next installment: "The Shelf From Hell II: Moving Day."

Anyway, I have to get ready for my screening tonight (I'm so nervous I could hurl), so I'll leave you with some pictures. Have a good one!

Nice, huh? Shift your eyes to the left of the picture.

Welcome to my nightmare.