A Gentle Warning Would Have Been Appreciated...

Most of you have known me for awhile now. I'd like to think that we're good friends. Which brings me to my oh-so innocent question:

WHY HAS NO ONE WARNED ME THAT I AM A DANGER TO MYSELF?!?!?!

Ahem...I just had a very weird thing happen to me, caused by me, and it got me to wondering why nobody has ever pulled me aside and gone: "Hey Kyla...I think it's a good idea for you to stay away from yourself for awhile to avoid any permanent damage and injury."

I bring you Exhibit A: (no, there will be no Exhibit B)

I was in the shower, minding my own business, and shaving my legs when I notice this monstrocity on the right side of my right leg:

Somehow, without me knowing, I have gained a monstrous black/green/yellow/purple bruise. Now, this bruise doesn't hurt, and I have no clue how I got said bruise. Needless to say, my lack of knowledge about forementioned bruise freaked the freak out of me, and caused me to jump a little.

Now please note the bandages above said bruise. These bandages are covering up the cuts that I inflicted upon myself upon jumping after seeing said bruise. Yes, while shaving my legs, I jumped and hacked open my leg while doing so.

And now as I type this I realize that I've had my hair curlers in for at least 20 minutes too long, and now I will suffer the fate of going out tonight looking like the illegitimate love-child of Carrot Top.

It's so not my day...