It's A Bird...It's A Plane...No Wait, It's Only Kyla Posting

I don't know how many of you know this, but my teachers are on strike. As of 10:26 PM on March 7th as a matter of fact. What does this mean? It means no school, which means no students at the residence to discipline, so I'm not really complaining. Actually, that's a lie. I'm complaining quite a bit, because I'm bored, and I just want to finish the year.

You'd think with no school and complete utter boredom on my hands I would be posting more. It makes sense, right? Instead of being bored, be creative! Spark debates! Write funny editorals! Share photos and ideas! But alas, none of that has happened.

I guess I'm in a bit of a funk lately. I'm even listening to emo music lately. So if you can't deal with my emo ramblings, you'd best check out this page, or maybe even this one.

People have been pissing me off. And when I say people, I mean everyone. I guess it's me...the long hours in front of the computer doing diddly-squat have finally gotten to me and my mind can't handle even simple social interaction without going into overdrive.

I guess the reason people have been pissing me off lately is because I've started to feel used. Like I'm a friend of convenience rather than simply just a friend.

Let me explain.

I can think of multiple times in the past few weeks where I have been called by friends. Normally, this would be good news, but it feels like every time I get called, someone needs something. The other day it was to take a shift for nothing in return (I did it.) Another time someone wanted me to hang out with them...it was "because they were bored."

I guess it feels lately that people only are my friend when it's convenient for me to be their friend. All the other times, they have their own lives and own things to deal with.

Is it me? I was jealous when I read Nick's blog entry the other day about his St. Patty's Day activities. So what if your Friday nights consist of you hanging out with geeks playing video games? At least it's social. My Friday (and most Saturday) nights are spent alone, watching movies, or aimlessly fiddling with my computer. It's not that I don't try - I invite the girls on my floor in to watch movies, and I try to keep my ears open for activities.

It breaks my heart though; it feels as though lately I don't get invited out when my friends go out, I don't get let into the loop about parties or activities, and no one tells me anything until it's old news. I feel like I have to pry information out of people...it's like volunteering information to Kyla is a crime punishable by death or something.

I guess I'm tired of it, and I guess this exhaustion has led to my lethargy in the past little while, which has led to me being unproductive and bored to tears. I almost feel that if the people around me aren't trying, there is no point in me trying either. I mean, why bother? I'm only going to get tread on all over again. I wish I didn't care so much. But I guess not caring about what my own heart is telling me is worse than the situation itself.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone other than my parents would notice if I disappeared. Or if anyone would care.